Homelessness Project: Crisis Case Study

Robert (32), Hostel Resident

London, WC1

Robert spent the majority of his first 16 years being moved from one institution to another. His mother found it difficult to cope as a single parent and Robert became disruptive and difficult at a young age. At 11 he was taken into care, the start of a cycle of abuse and emotional neglect. "I was put under a care order and was at the first place for five months and then they moved me onto a boarding school for maladjusted kids, which I don't know, from my experience was hell really, I was sexually abused at that place. I was emotionally abused, physically abused. It really was a bad place. It was full of these kids that were really disturbed.

"Over a five month period I was sexually abused, I was beaten, I was used as a dartboard. I was beaten really, a lot by other kids, also I was getting beaten up by the staff as well. It was pretty traumatic actually. I used to run away, I would be too frightened to sleep in my bed at night, cos I'd be woken up by someone maybe smashing me in the head with something. I couldn't believe it, this place was really intensely dangerous, and I'm surprised that I didn't actually die there."

Robert stayed in a total of six more children's homes, assessment centers and secure units where his loneliness and depression became progressively worse, as did his behaviour. By the time he was 15 he was sniffing glue and stealing cars. "I was getting no help for the problems I was facing in side, I was very depressed, and I tried to take my life a couple of times. I was serious about it because I overdosed twice. I took them and went to bed, told no one about it and then just got up in the morning the next day and it didn't bother me. I was just going crazy. I had this unbelievably horrible feeling, you know, anxiety. Powerful. When I'd get the anxiety and it would come on again I would break into cars, go for a drive. I did a lot of that."

At 16 he was placed in hostel where he would be allocated a flat. "It's the kind of place you go where it's supposed to lead into a flat, your own housing. Anyway they put me into this one room and no help, nothing, just social security, I was on my own, I had no one and basically I was depressed, stopped eating, I gave up. I was very unhappy there. I suppose on and off since then, up until 1991 when I started taking heroin, I just kind of existed."

At 17 he was moved into a flat but found it impossible to cope and began sleeping rough. "Not being able to contain a flat, not having a job, having no support, not having a sense of responsibility or anything. Got evicted from the flat. Just moved around on the streets to living in people's places, hotels, all sorts."

This pattern continued for years, until he was 27. "In 1991 I got on the heroin, had a heroin problem until early '93, I met this girl fell for her, she fell for me. She got pregnant and we moved in together in the same room in a hotel, applied for housing, about 6 months after we moved into a flat in Camden. We had a daughter, lovely little girl."

Shortly after Robert and his family moved to another flat where he managed to stop taking heroin. "Within the first year of my daughter being born I dealt with my drug problem, I got off the heroin completely. That helped me you know.

"I was quite proud of myself considering some of the things I had actually been through, I done pretty well to actually get off my drugs. I would see that child in front of me and say to myself 'look what I had to go through is that what I want for my kids?' Just after that my ex fell pregnant with my son."

One of the institutions where Robert grew had provided him with training as an electrician. He used this skill to earn money to support his family. He was also given the opportunity to own part of his own business, delivering fruit and vegetables to hotels and restaurants. "I got up to speed and put out pamphlets and leaflets to help get customers. I had family and I started to feel good about myself, I started to have this positive energy around me and I started to feel stronger in person. You know, my life was changing. I had never experienced anything like this. I felt good. I wanted it. It was my buzz now, not a drug, that natural family thing."

But the amount of work he was doing to support his family caused the disintegration of Robert's relationship, until eventually he moved out temporarily. "I got home to bring home some money, front door was open, the kid's stuff was gone, her stuff was gone, anything of value in the flat was gone. That was the last I saw of her, that was it and I broke down. I think I carried on trying to run the fruit and veg business for about 2 weeks after, but I was cracking up. I really worried about them, all especially the state of mind she was in you know. I went looking for my kids but I couldn't find them. I looked everywhere but I could not find them, no trace. It's like she completely disappeared off the face of the earth with my kids.

"I broke down, my health completely went, I just shut the business, I wasn't working. I just cracked up, I just dropped it. About three weeks after she left I got quite a bit of heroin, went home, took it thinking that I would OD, and of course I didn't. And that was it, back on heroin. It was a coping mechanism. I believe that if I didn't go back on heroin I would have killed myself. I just could not cope with what happened, it totally destroyed me, after all I went through, after all that my family had been through from the start. We'd had quite a struggle trying to make something for ourselves, and there I was, trying, and it was totally lost. It scared the hell out of me, my nerves went. My nerves completely went."

Again life became too difficult for Robert to cope with and he found himself living back on the streets, "I had to get out of the flat, it was all too familiar. I walked out of the flat. Just left it. I went and lived on the street, I had to get out of there. Eventually I got the council to get me into a hostel. There was a lot of junkies in there and alcoholics, mentally ill people. Stayed there for about 3 months, did my application for housing, which was rejected. Not bad enough circumstances."

Robert has been in living in a variety of hostels since then, and been in and out of prison for shoplifting offences, "I've been in two probation hostels, in two council hostels, I've been in two other hostels, and in between those I've been sleeping rough."

What Robert really wants is a home where he feels secure and is given support to help him cope with the difficulties he has had during his life, "I'd like to be working, I would like to have contact with my children and I would like somewhere to live, just somewhere that I'm not feeling that if I meet someone in the wrong mood around me I can't be kicked out. That is what I want, that is all, I'm not asking for much. Maybe I would ask for a bit of help to maybe deal with and look into things that have gone on in my life."

Sanjay

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